How to Assist Kids Who Are Having Behavioral Difficulties (at Home and School)…

Have you ever wondered why some students just can’t manage their behavior in school? Some kids act the way they because of what they’ve experienced in their home life and because of how they are “wired”. A combination of factors; genetic, environmental, and temperamental are involved in influencing behaviors.

Some children have experienced abuse (both verbal and/or physical), are raised in an environment of poverty and/or drug and/or alcohol use at home, and may be neglected. While there still may be others that have experienced the extreme emotional pain of loss of a close loved one or a trauma than can trigger them behaviorally in school. The behaviors school personnel can witness may be manifested in a variety of ways – some external and some internal (students being exceptionally withdrawn while others can lash out behaviorally).

How can parents and teachers help? Unfortunately, when students enter some classrooms, they find a teacher who has fallen into the punitive method of maintaining the classroom environment. Methods of changing behavior, such as yelling, reprimanding, and dressing-down, only increase students’ anxiety. They do nothing to change behavior in the long term. And when the child returns home the home environment of chaos the cycle starts again.

To influence students positively, classrooms should be the “safe haven” in the center of the chaotic lives of the neediest children. How does a teacher establish that? And how can a parent support that at home? Consistency, common language, specific expectations that are established and clearly explained AND demonstrated (and practiced without fear of being punished while in the practice phase), smooth transitions, and clean, organized, accessible classroom environment—which is a physical representation of the order and control so many students may not have in their own home environments. It has a calming effect that makes them feel safe, wanted, and valued. If this is done correctly, students will immediately relax when they enter the classroom and their seat will become a “safe haven”. They will then become prepared to do their very best both behaviorally and academically. If this is communicated with the parent, the same environment, language and techniques can be used at home!!

A Note To Teachers – YOU MUST BE CAREFUL NOT to take any misbehavior personally. You should be the students’ anchor! You MUST establish a personal connection. The students need to feel safe and wanted.

MMMMM….Bet you are saying what if the students misbehave? Well, if you take the time to establish the environment and your connection to the students, you will have some powerful clout when it comes down to influencing their behavior choices. When they do act out you must be consistent in holding them accountable for their actions BUT without causing anger or bitterness. There should be no “blaming”. With this kind of plan in place and an established communication plan with parents, a three way team can begin to restore chaos to children’s lives and help with classroom management and home life as well. Next blog will deal with if a child has an IEP or Chapter 15/504 Service plan and is dealing with behaviors, what should a parent do???